*not hot enough*
*turns knob 1/16th of an inch*
Satan himself pours out of your shower head and licks your back seductively.
Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Q: How do you know if there’s been elephants in your fridge?
A: There’s footprints in your butter.
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won’t close.
Q: How do you know if there’s been an elephant in your bed?
A: There are peanut shells in your sheets.
Q: How do you get an elephant into your fridge?
A: Open door, insert elephant, close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into your fridge?
A: Open door, remove elephant, insert giraffe, close door.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!”
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses on?
A: Nothing, he didn’t recognize them.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes with sunglasses on?
A: “Ha! As if you elephants could fool me twice with that disguise.”
*my mom calls ur mom* hi i just called to tell you that your son didnt reblog my sons selfie? um no lorraine. you listen here, if you want to come to my tupperware party you better get your son in check. also your blueberry cobbler should not have won the state fair competition. goodbye lorraine.